26 February 2017

Syberia Explained

My dog is afraid of me and my family is worried about me. You think it could be fun to go down memory lane with something classic you vaguely remember having fun with in the past. But then you put a sock ball in your mouth to bite down on and muffle the sound of your own cries. But, enough about masturbation.

This game really pissed me off. It induces a mix of impotent rage and sexism. The complete lack of violence and jerkaround solutions to simple problems make you feel like you are stuck in an abusive relationship, but you are the abuser. Kate Walker needs to be shaken and slapped, punched and kicked in an elevator security video. Her inability to deal with her own shit like an adult person makes her easily hateable. That stupid fat ugly cow Anita Sarkeesian has been wasting her time going after GTA and Hitman. Somebody should call her and tell her we found the sexism, it is here. And it is real. By the middle of the game you want to set Kate Walker on fire. By the end you want to kill her mother her filthy slut friend and the old annoying communist opera... I just hate women now. The next time something is too heavy to lift or high to reach somebody is getting their hair pulled and face punched. This game should be banned, but before the fascist impeach Trump and start the book burning, you should check it out.

Get the game from GOG.com @ https://www.gog.com/game/syberia
"About: Kate Walker, a young ambitious lawyer from New York, is handed what seems to be a fairly straightforward assignment. Just a quick stopover to handle the sale of an old automaton factory hidden in the alpine valleys, then straight back home to New York. Little did she imagine, when embarking on this task, that her life would be turned upside down."